


Wanted

by youtubeimaginationstation



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, GTA Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 00:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5353790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youtubeimaginationstation/pseuds/youtubeimaginationstation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just supposed to be a simple drop off for Jack, but things can never really be that simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wanted

Everything’s more dangerous when you are in the most wanted crew in Los Santos. Even going to the grocery store can be a game of hiding the isles. It's not just when you’re robbing them; sometimes needing milk isn’t worth holding up a whole supermarket. A game of cat and mouse that was interchangeable. Some days you’re the cat catching the little mice as a they try to scurry away with their cheese with no where to go, and other days you’re the mouse and you’re tucked away in your mouse hole and watching the cats paw pad around your hideaway. It was the daily needs of being a person that could get in the way, something that was easy to forget when people cower at the mention of your crew’s name. No amount of makeup and masks and wigs could ever quite hide the people behind them, a trait will always slip through. A disguise only covers what people can see, but the person inside is still the same as they always were. That’s a lesson that you learn the hard way when you’re the only female in an otherwise all male crew of reckless idiots, you can’t cover who you are.

Enter Jack Patillo, one half of the brain of the infamous Fake AH Crew, her other half being Geoff Ramsey. She was the sane to his crazy, and normally the thinker of the two. An organizer, the behind the scenes master, the getaway vehicle, and today it seemed she was a delivery woman. Or at least that’s what was going through her head as she stood outside the foggy glass doors of the post office, small package in her arms. Jack tugged on a strand of her wig hanging by her face, wishing she could tear the damn thing off her head. Her hair was a natural fiery red that was rather recognizable paired with her normally bright attire. Any time that she needed to go out in public they shoved a dark straight wig over her wavy orange hair and stuck her in neutral tones. It wasn’t often that it happened, but damn if she didn’t hate it when they did. This wasn’t even her job! Normally they’d stick the boys in to do routine deliveries, exchanging packages and leaving fake ones in chairs that were actually loaded with sticky bombs to be picked up by guards. These crowded places were always good for their activities. The Fake AH Crew loved to make a scene despite the danger, but there was a reason they were infamous in Los Santos. This had originally been Gavin’s job actually, but him and Michael had taken a drunken joyride around Los Santos the night prior leaving their mark in the side of a building they’d crashed the car into. The crew had decided that it really wasn’t the best idea for Gavin to leave the safe house until this all blew over, so Jack was elected instead.

The box in her arms was nothing crazy. Just water damaged cameras that needed repairs after the last heist had ended in a crashed boat in the ocean. The infrareds did not agree with the high winds and water, and the only guy she trusted to fix her cameras had a clever undercover with Alpha Mail postal. His name was Adam, and he used the mail service as a way to get the parts he needed in a discreet way, and honestly Jack thought it was genius, despite the fact that it meant being so out in the open. It was the price the crew paid to have the best of the best in charge of their tech, or at least that’s what she kept reminding herself while hating Gavin for being so stupid the night prior. Jack took a deep breath, frowning at the dirty glass, before stepping up so that the doors slid open. The air was humid and packed, as if they the breath and thoughts of every person there was being expelled out and filling the already crowded space uncomfortably. Jack tapped her fingers across the package, trying to focus as her senses was bombarded with noise and the strong stench of sweaty bodies, eyes scanning the room until they landed upon Adam at the desk looking rather bored as he slapped send details onto packages and pushed them through the line. Despite his long beard and nose ring that gave off the aura of a dude in his late twenties who just needed this job to pay rent, Jack knew he was her guy and made a move to walk up to the counter.

“Hey sweetheart. You can’t just move in front of everyone. You gotta wait in line like everybody else no matter how nice look to the rest of us.” Jack turned on her heel, ready to knife the idiot who made the comment, but held her tongue and dipped her head. Now was not the time to do something stupid, she’s the level headed one but when men treated her like she beneath them it lit a flame in her chest. “Oh, sorry.” She chirped in her most sickly sweet voice, though hatred dripped through it, and she shot a cheesy smile in his general direction, but as she walked back he swatted at her ass, knocking her into a much smaller and older man. Jack promptly smiled at him and spouted a quick apology, seeing as he hadn’t been an asshole like the other guy, before whipping around to say something the big and burly who thought he had the right to touch her. As Jack opened her mouth to say something the words got stuck in her throat and she opted to shoot a death glare his way. She didn’t want to bring attention to herself, so she slid to the back of the line and waited, still fuming. It was a long line, and she found herself pulling her phone out to complain to Geoff about it.

Jack: Some dickbag decided it would be a brilliant idea to just slap my ass. 

Geoff: Did you kill him?????

Jack: No… although I really wanted to. I was two seconds away from shoving my foot so far up his ass he’d be able to taste it.

Geoff: I would pay good money to see that happen. This is why I want you to lead more heists!! You could just bust in guns blazing ready to kick butt and steal shit.

Jack: And then you’d have no get away vehicle idiot. None of you know much about helicopters.

Geoff: Not true!!!!!

Jack: Sorry sorry. None of you know much about being discreet with helicopters.

Geoff: … yeah… and?

Jack chuckled and shook her head, knowing she had him beat and took a step up in the slow moving line. As she laughed the older man from earlier looked her over. 

Jack: Exactly my point haha. Anyways, how’re things at home base?

Geoff: Well Gav and Michael are being dumbasses. I think they’re getting a little restless being stuck in here. Ryan’s out though, hopefully not murdering anyone. I don’t have time for clean up while babysitting these two idiots.

Jack: You mean I don’t have time for cleanup?

Geoff: Me. You. Let’s be real here we’re babysitting a bunch of adults haha. 

Geoff: How’s delivery going?

Jack: About as boring as you’d imagine it to be.

Geoff: And that’s why we normally stick dumby baby Gav to it. He finds weird ways to do things, and seeing as no one has ever heard him talk you never have to worry about people recognizing his voice in public. People fall all over the British accent.

Geoff: …Although that nose is recognizable enough to be a dead giveaway.

Jack: That’s what masks are for. And they wouldn’t fall all over his accent if they knew just how annoying it is all the time.

Geoff: Trueeeee haha.

Jack took a moment to glance up and noticed that the line still really had not moved much, but the small man in front of her had disappeared. She really didn’t think anything of it until she saw dark dressed guards speaking loudly about a wanted criminal with the man standing there with a poster he’d taken down from the board that had her face as well as the other four members in her crew partially disguised emblazoned across it with “WANTED” in bolded letters across the top.

“Well shit.”

Now the Los Santos Police didn’t have their real names, they had associated aliases, but their faces were hard to completely remove from the media when the boys liked to bring attention to themselves in everything they did. She thought that she had done a pretty good job disguising herself for this drop, removing any recognizable part of her from the outfit but now was not the time to worry about it. With a groan Jack tucked the package under her arm and started looking for her way out. Obviously there was no way that she could go out the front, there had to be cops on top of cops out there in a short amount of time and she sure as hell wasn’t fast enough to run from cars, and that’s when her eyes landed upon an open window. It wasn’t the most convenient window, a little on the small side, but she could squeeze through it. The size wasn’t the issue though. It’s height hit at about her chest which was going to hurt, but she knew that she didn’t have another option. Realizing it was her only way out Jack dropped the package, promising to buy herself better cameras, and started moving as quickly and quietly as she could towards it. Luckily, the lines of people seemed to obscure her as she walked calmly and quickly seeing as she knew it wouldn’t last for long. As she approached the window she gained speed until she was essentially jogging and launched herself up onto it, hearing a shout as she did from behind her. It was a good motivator to get herself all the way through the window and rolling into the dirt. With a groan Jack jumped up, her wig coming off completely, and she yanked the hood up over her now exposed hair. “This is so predictable. So damn predictable.” She muttered, pulling her phone back out and dialing Ryan’s number as she started running through the alley way.

The phone rang once before Ryan’s voice was in her ear. “Jack, what’s up?” She was breathing hard and before she could even answer a beep echoed from the phone and she knew he’d just location tracked her. “I’m on my way. I’ll be in the banshee. I’m about two minutes away. Can you keep running?” Jack nodded before realizing he couldn’t see her and breathed out a yes as she rounded a corner out onto the streets. The call cut and she jammed the phone back into her pocket and she slowed to a jog. Straight sprinting would draw more attention to herself, and in that moment Jack was suddenly very grateful for not being in her normal eye catching attire as she blended into the Los Santos crowd. It didn’t take long for Ryan to roll up to curb and she jumped into the car, throwing her head back to lose the hood in the safety of tinted windows. 

“You look like shit.” Ryan offhandedly commented and she punched him in the arm. “This really isn’t my thing.” Jack grumbled, looking him over. Ryan looked alarmingly casual, wearing a sweater and a jeans, this being opposed to his normal all black everything with a leather jacket and skull mask. “How come you don’t dress like this more at home base?” He shot her a side-glance and smirked. “I gotta reputation to uphold.” She left it at that and settled into the seat, staring out at the familiar streets. “So what the hell happened back there?” Jack took a deep breath and sighed. “There was a wanted poster on a board that I missed, and some guy recognized me.” Ryan scoffed, hiding his laugh behind his sleeve. “They still make wanted posters? I thought that was from the old west!” By the end of his statement he was fully laughing and so was Jack, the tension from the afternoon rolling off her shoulders. He rolls the sunroof back, the colors of the late sunset painting Teddy’s skin warm tones. Sirens were audible down the road, but she wasn’t concerned anymore, they’d have no idea where she went, and that’s how she liked it. Just another day in the Fake AH Crew, just another day.


End file.
